My hand turned me down
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
he's gonorrhea incarnate
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We are all done wearing pants today
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
