..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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