I'm drive I can fine osifer
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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