i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
