do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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