mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
