I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just high enough for therapy.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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