I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
