Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize