he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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