i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
