thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
