And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
