Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
