I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize