Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize