I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
