we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
