Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Randomize
