OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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