do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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