Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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