Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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