so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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