I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
This couple is walking their pig around campus
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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