Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I want a musical about memes.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
