so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
