found the other keg... it's in the tree
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We need to get me chipped asap
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
