They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
