nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
