Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
