Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
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He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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