How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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