I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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