Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
