That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
