can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
