Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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