Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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