everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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