Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
