Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
