He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
