porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm determined to sit on that face.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
