Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
