dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
