Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
