Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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