You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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