Define "chronic" masturbator.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
