Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!