There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
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he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
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Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.