if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.