we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
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The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
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Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome